


About traffic jams caused by rings of infernal fire and grief

by starlight_and_sunshine



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Attempt at angst, Crowley Thinks Aziraphale is Dead, Crowley is pissed and sad, Did someone else missed some Crowley missing Aziraphale in the book?, M/M, The Bently is semi sentiant, Worried Crowley (Good Omens), yeah me too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 10:44:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20256832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlight_and_sunshine/pseuds/starlight_and_sunshine
Summary: The thing with rings of infernal fire that surround London and trap you inside the city is that they give you time to think. And that moment the last thing Crowlet wants it's time to think.





	About traffic jams caused by rings of infernal fire and grief

**Author's Note:**

> My entry for the 2019 Good Omens fan exchange organized by @hastur_lavista!  
The prompt: Somebody killed my best friend.

The thing with traffic jams caused by rings of infernal fire that surround London and trap you inside the city is that they give you lots of time to think. And at that moment the last thing Crowley wants is time to think.

After leaving what was left of Aziraphale´s bookshop, he headed straight to his car, opening the bookshop front gates and walking slowly away. He didn’t have to use demonic power to avoid the noisy firefighters that were trying to put down the fire, as they didn’t notice him getting out of the shop. In his way out he overheard a little talking of how the fire is a bad one, a really bad one. He doesn’t want to stick around and find out the specifics of the report.

He drives for a while, trying to get to the address he found written in Aziraphale´s neat, clear and beautiful handwriting in a card inside the damn _book_, as a desperate attempt to give himself something to do and not think. But then he arrived to the fucking M-25 and everything went to shit. And any amount of cursing he had done to his past self was useless, as he was stuck right in front of the fire ring, if the usual mess of the M-25 wasn’t enough sign of what an error it was to mess up with the construction, the signals and everything involved in that hell of a project.

He tried to distract himself with some music and cursing as he struggles with blocking out the resent memories, and eventually lost the track of time. He can´t, and they come in painful waves that hit him without mercy.

The smoke blowing up into the sky and turning the clouds gray and dirty. The firefighters all gathered around Aziraphale´s bookshop. The flames eating without grace years, centuries of Aziraphale´s hard work; all gone in mere seconds and Crowley is unable to do anything to stop it, he hadn’t felt that helpless in 6,000 years. Himself, rushing into the madness and shouting from the core of his being Aziraphale´s name, one, two, three, what felt like a million times. Falling to the ground when a blast of water hit him the chest and made him loose his sunglasses. Seeing the witch´s book, a little crispy on the edges, but mostly intact. Picking it up and feel his body shake with the realization that Aziraphale isn´t there anymore.

Dammit.

“AZIRAPHALE, YOU STUPID, STUPID BRAT!!!” Crowley draws a fist into the Bentley´s horn causing it to honk. The car parked behind his answers in kind, but Crowley is too busy trying to keep the tears at bay to even be slightly bothered. He hugs himself, and rests his head on the horn, finding that he is too tired to even keep his head up once he fails and the tears start to fall. He hasn´t cry in centuries, and yet again is Aziraphale´s fault, he vaguely thinks.

His first thought is how dared that bastard of Aziraphale do that to him? In the beck of the end of everything, Aziraphale had no right to leave him alone. But Aziraphale wouldn´t do that, his rational part reproaches him. Granted, his angel could be enough of a bastard and even a little cruel without noticing, but ditching him? Leaving him to fend on his own? Never, not in a million years. Literally not in the end of the world.

Panic increases in him as he searches and searches, but he can´t sense Aziraphale anywere in the world. Where was his angel? What was that place, so far beyond that Crowley couldn’t reach? He needed Aziraphale by his side, as Crowley was unable to keep going without him.

The Bentley fell suddenly silent.

He raised his eyes from the horn, just a little, when the roaring of the flames hits his ears almost like an answer. He saw it clearly for the first time and had to admit that, all things considered, it was a damn perfect job. It was one of his finest works, after all, that stupid ring of infernal fire.

Then the answer hit him like a thunderbolt.

The flames, devouring the bookshelves, reducing Aziraphale´s beloved books to mere ash one by one.

The thing with grief is that it doesn’t let you think clearly at first. It crushes and buries you in fits of pain and sorrows, and it takes a while for the denial to go away and let you put two and two together. And when the denial goes away, rage comes. Something clicked in Crowley´s head. And he died a little more inside, if that was even possible. He raised his head, opened up the door and stepped out of the car.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARDS DID IT, DIDN´T YOU?” he screamed to the raging flames in front of him addressing no one in particular, earning him estranged looks from the people around him.

“YOU… YOU KILLED MY BEST FRIEND”. He didn´t wait for an answer, and wasn’t expecting one either. He cracked his knuckles, arranged his clothes and miracled himself a new pair of sunglasses. Heaven or Hell, it didn´t matter who, had done it.

Those miserable bastards had murdered his best friend.

Crowley knew that he had little chances to survive the fire, even to get out without damage. But with every reason worth living gone from Crowley´s life he was ready to go too. All things swift and beautiful were gone with Aziraphale. The least he could do was go and try to complete the thing Aziraphale had died trying to do. Revenge would come next if he succeeds. And damn it, if he was going to go away, he was going to go away with style. After all, go big or go home. The last thing Crowley thinks before getting into his car and driving head first into a ring of infernal fire of his own doing is Aziraphale.

At the back of his head he can hear the voice of Freddy Mercury singing.

_Find me, find me, find me somebody to love (find me somebody to love)_

_ Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love! _

_Somebody find me, find me love_

**Author's Note:**

> The book and the series are very similar, but change at specific scenes and a lot of Aziraphale's and Crowley's characterization. One of that changes is that, insted of drinking his heart out (the poor baby!) Crowley heads straight to Tadfield on the book. While I'm okay with that, I missed a bit of development at what Crowley felt on those moments.


End file.
